I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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