so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I am one with the molecules
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
