There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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