Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
