what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
