When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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