did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando