I am full of burrito and curiosity
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
