well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
