How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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