actually, I'm a sock model
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
