I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
