I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
