We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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