he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I currently don't understand fingers.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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