you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
