Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize