And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
The Olympian is in my bed
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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