real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
