A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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