Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
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Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
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Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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