I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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