I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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