real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
