Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
