Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
