My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
