wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
