So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Randomize
