I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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