I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
