Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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