Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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