I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
He better not be in your backpack
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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