No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm both gender and math confused
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
