your parents love me but you hate me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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