you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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