I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
