The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
