I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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