We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
His nipple licking is glorious
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