i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Someone signed my nipple.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
