I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
