I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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