i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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