Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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