so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
