We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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