Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
