Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
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i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
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speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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