Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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