Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
