my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
