so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize