I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
