If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
