he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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