I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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