ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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