That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
