It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Congratulations! We have a period
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