lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
