I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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