You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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