I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
