But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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